Generally speaking, the transition out of a cult is the reverse of the transition into it.  As events, relationships and impressions occur that disrupt the rewards, ideology, intensity, or affective ties of the cult, members choose whether to stay or move on to something different (or back to something they had before). Balch defines stages of disengagement with a sense of flow that prevents them from being clearly demarcated in observation.  Wright points out some of the same issues, but as a non-linear list of reasons for defection.

1. Time Away – When by outside intervention, assignment, or accident, individuals spend time separated from the group and the reinforcement of beliefs and practices, some of the cohesion and certainty of the cult is lost to them.  Wright expresses this as a reduction in the Social Insulation cults employ to manage the flow of ideas.  Balch refers to a ‘crack in consensual validation’, where the ‘reality-defining power had been seriously weakened’ (Balch, p.20), indicating it as the first phase in defection.  The longer one is without the direct cult influence and receiving input from the outside world, the more likely they will leave the group.
2. Coupling– Cults tend to control social relationships by prohibiting or arranging marriages, enforcing a loyalty and consistent association with the group.  The opportunity to have an exclusive relationship with one person, sharing innermost thoughts and feelings, creates a different bond which in some cases outweighs the allegiance to the group.  If one member of this couple expresses doubts and considers leaving, the other member is more likely to join them.  Having two in agreement, especially if they begin to disagree with the group, strengthens their resolve to leave and their confidence of a successful exit.  Defection occurs more often among couples who were married before joining, and though researchers are careful about not drawing hasty conclusions from limited data, there are two hypotheses worth considering:
   1. Cult imposed restrictions on a couple who already have an established marriage and the accompanying activities are likely to be, immediately or eventually, unwelcome changes.
   2. Unions arranged by the cult have its blessing, and any restrictions are established and accepted before the couple starts their lives together.  Both parties will have entered single and already formed their commitments and attachments to the group.
3. Demoralizing Experiences – Discouragement comes in many forms, Balch lists four: information contradicting the validity of the message or the credibility of the leadership, interpersonal conflict, and the perception that one is no longer progressing.  Wright points to the frustration and reduction of urgency that occurs when the promised event or growth is in continuous delay, which causes people to reevaluate whether the time, energy, and personal sacrifices are really worth it.  The dissonance between the expressed ideals and the perceived realities are not soothed as easily, and the ideology of the cult weakens in the mind of the disenchanted convert.
4. Leadership – Wright invests several paragraphs in the impact of leadership conduct.  If the leaders disappear, the continuity of the group disintegrates under growing independence among the members.  Attempts by lower leaders to realign the group can come off as too harsh and incite rebellion or fracturing of the group.  Worst of all is inconsistency, when leadership is observed going against their established teachings and policies.  While a few incidents may be manageable, and the charisma of the leadership may insulate it from criticism for a while, some members will invariably lose patience with the apparent hypocrisy.
5. Primary Group Affectivity – One of the lesser reasons for defection is lack of fulfilling interpersonal relationships within the group.  Someone who feels left out, set aside for other group goals, or otherwise relationally distant may choose to leave, having formed no solid attachments within the membership.  AsDawsonpointed out, social networks, affective ties, and intensive interactions are part of the recruitment and maintenance processes, something cults tend to do well, so this would be the one area where they’d be less likely to lose members.

When the disillusion and questions start taking hold, members find themselves vacillating ‘between periods of doubt and conviction’ (Balch, p28).  As they keep doubts under wraps and observe apparently committed behavior in others, they begin to mistrust themselves and try harder to follow the message.

Balch identifies two more phases, disaffection and behavioral disengagement, where the potential defector begins withdrawing from the community in subtle ways related to social interaction and/or activities.  They may continue to participate, but with limited enthusiasm and a motivation born more of conformity than conviction. As other members begin to notice this double-mindedness, they may play a role in pushing the person to leave.  Criticisms and social distancing may make the decision to leave easier, as would validation that questions and concerns are shared by others.

Once the defection decision is made, Balch and Singer agree, the battle is not yet over.  There are, to varying degrees, cycles of loneliness, depression, confusion, and that ‘fish out of water’ feeling as the former cult member tries to acclimate into the outside society, which may seem to them ignorant or insensitive to the realities they experienced within the cult.  Materialism, waste, and frivolity are magnified in the eyes of those who have been living the simple and perhaps tightly controlled life with a single religious focus.  The challenge of making decisions with the residual fear of choosing that which authorities, including the ingrained perception of God, would deem wrong or displeasing can be paralyzing.  There is more to leaving a cult than simply walking away or being physically rescued.  Recovery can take months to years, and some have made the decision that such recovery is an impossible challenge.